Title: Shannon’s Gift: A Story of Love, Loss, and Recovery
Author: Nate Bennett
Genre: Grieving, loss, love story
Publish Date: June 1, 2014
Publisher: Booklogix
Event organized by: Literati Author Services, Inc.
~ Book Synopsis ~
In this raw, emotional memoir, Nate Bennett shares the blog he maintained to work through his grief over the sudden loss of his wife Shannon. He is surprised and comforted to discover a vast virtual community of support. His blog posts—alternately poignant and of dry wit—eventually attracted tens of thousands of hits and a following from readers who hadn’t known the couple. This unique book gives the reader a window into the starkness of a widower’s grieving experience in real time. What comes through in virtually every post is his love for Shannon as he weaves in vignettes from their life together, chronicling their love story and his efforts to recover. And in the end, with the support of his virtual community and the strength he was able to draw from remembering Shannon’s wishes for him, he finds love again.
Add to Goodreads:
Purchase Links
Amazon | Booklogix | iTunes | Barnes and Noble
What is Mitochondrial Disease?
Excerpt
In September of 2011—just about a month after our
twenty-sixth wedding anniversary—I
lost Shannon. We had just become empty nesters; weeks earlier we dropped our
youngest son off at college. Shannon had waited until he was settled to schedule
routine shoulder surgery. Post operation, the doctor came out to tell me the
procedure was a success, and sent me to get the car. In those next few moments,
Shannon collapsed and never regained consciousness. Shannon died, and I went
from being half of a couple, anticipating the joy of time and travel with an
amazing partner, to a person struggling to find a way back into the light.
Anyone who knew Shannon will testify
that she was one of the kindest, sweetest souls ever put on earth. I was extraordinarily
lucky to have her in my life. We met at college in 1981. Though I wasn’t paying adequate attention the first
time I met her, I thankfully had a second chance. I thought she was beautiful
right away, and I learned how compassionate, patient, and strong she was over
the next 28 years. I couldn’t
have had a better partner. As you read our story, you will get to know her, and
I bet you will miss her, too.
After she passed away, I looked for
stories that might help me understand my pain. I wanted to know what to do to
stop hurting. I wanted to know what to do so I could be there for the other
people who were hurting with me—especially
our sons. I was in a place that was completely unacceptable; I had to find a
way out. What I found didn’t
help cut through my haze of grief. None of it came close to describing how
hopeless I was. None of it pointed me to the set of concrete steps towards the
recovery I desperately wanted.
Since I couldn’t find enough of the right stuff to
read, I started to write. I have no
doubt that the writing is
the primary reason I can sit here today as a mostly functioning adult. My blog
and support from the online community that assembled around it kept me from
feeling quite so alone. They were invaluable in my effort to work through my
grief and to find my way to love again.
Shannon gave me many gifts over the
years. I choose to think that she gave me this opportunity to try and help
others by sharing my grief and my efforts to get better. If I can manage that
opportunity, she will have given a gift to those struggling with mitochondrial
disease, the condition that hastened her death. She will have given a gift to
people struggling with loss, as well as to people who care about friends or
family who are trying to get up from what I promise is a terrible blow. And,
finally, Shannon was brutally honest regarding her challenges and her likely
prognosis due to her struggles with mitochondrial disease. Her unselfishness in
repeatedly and unequivocally expressing what she expected of me should she
predecease me is a gift that has made it possible for me to not simply survive
losing her, but to find love again.
What
lessons did you soul learn from your experiences in dealing with Shannon’s
illness?
Shannon’s
illness has become relevant only because it led to her death. While she
lived, we felt we had no choice but to ignore it. That strategy worked
for the first 20 years of our relationship. For the last years, we
learned to work around it. So in the end - and not to parse words - I am
not sure either my soul or I learned anything from dealing with Shannon’s
illness.
Her
death – that’s another matter entirely. Though again, as I reflect on it
the lessons really came not from her death but from trying to get better.
1. I learned that Bob Marley was
right, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only
choice.” I think that really requires no further explanation.
2. People are capable of incredible
kindness. It’s hard to let them be kind to you because it reminds you of
what happened, but you must.
3. I was reading a novel and a
character had a line to the effect that “there is no past, if there was we
wouldn’t need sorrow” or something similar. It’s a good line.
Losing Shannon will never be in the past.
4. Never leave the house without
kissing and hugging. While the odds are in your favor, the chance you
take a pass on could be the last chance you get. I nearly took a pass on
my last kiss with Shannon. If I had, that would hurt so badly now.
5. It would be great if there were a
way for people to gain the perspective on “what matters” that losing Shannon
gave me. How much time and energy we waste fretting over people’s words
and actions that just don’t matter. Don’t ask if the pain of the loss was
worth the gain of perspective.
About the Author
In the fall of 2011, Nate lost his wife of 26 years in a shocking turn of events. She’d just had an outpatient procedure on her shoulder and the doctor sent Nate to get the car to bring her home. In the next few minutes, things went terribly wrong. Shannon collapsed, never to recover. After more than a week in a critical care unit in pursuit of a cure, Nate honored Shannon’s wishes and had her life support discontinued and she died shortly later. Nate’s book, Shannon’s Gift, is the result of the blog Nate kept during Shannon’s hospitalization and after her death. Initially, the purpose of the blog was to keep friends and family informed of Shannon’s condition. Quickly, though, the blog became Nate’s catharsis and a way to stay connected to a web of supporters.
After the sudden loss of his wife, Nate was surprised and comforted to discover a vast virtual community of support. His blog posts – alternately expressing poignancy and dry wit – eventually attracted tens of thousands of readers and a following from people around the world that didn’t even know Nate or his wife. The unique book gives the reader a window into the starkness of a widower’s grief in real time and a look at how social media has changed grieving in today’s world. In the end, with the support of his virtual community and the strength he was able to draw from remembering Shannon’s wishes for him, he finds love again.
While Nate is new to the personal memoir genre, he is co-author of two management books, "Riding Shotgun: The Role of the COO" and “Your Career Game: How Game Theory Can Help You Achieve Your Professional Goals.” Both are books published by Stanford University Press. Additionally, his research has been published in respected scholarly journals such as the Academy of Management Review, the Academy of Management Journal, Psychological Bulletin, and the Journal of Applied Psychology. He has also published in many widely read resources for managers including the Harvard Business Review, Wall Street Journal, BusinessWeek.com and Forbes.com.
Nate Bennett is a professor of the J. Mack Robinson College of Business at Georgia State University in the summer of 2012. From 1999 to 2012, he was on the faculty of the business school at Georgia Tech, where he most recently held the position of the Catherine W. and Edwin A. Wahlen Professor of Management. From 1999 until 2010, he served as associate dean and then as senior associate dean. Prior to Georgia Tech, he served on the faculty at Louisiana State University. While at LSU, he served at times as the management department’s Ph.D. program coordinator, department chair, MBA program director, and associate dean.
Nate holds a BA in sociology, as well as a MA in Social Research from Tulane University. He earned his Ph.D. in Management from the Georgia Institute of Technology. He resides in Atlanta, GA.
Author’s Social Media
Schedule
July 28th
Cruising Susan Book Reviews ~ Review
July 29th
July 30th
July 31st
August 1st
Bibliophile Mystery ~ Review
August 2nd
August 3rd
Fiona’s Book Reviews ~Review
Little Red’s Book Reviews Review
The Bookgineer ~Review
0 Comments